Happy birthday to me!

I am officially 19 years old. Trouble is, there is nothing exciting about being 19. I already had all the rights of being an adult, I'm not yet in my 20's, and drinking is still illegal. If any, 19 would be the perfect age to skip right over. But alas, I still have another year until my birthdays are exciting again for 20 and 21, and then I begin the process of barely registering the fact that I've gained another year. I bet when I'm in my 30's I'll sometimes forget how old I am. That's a little depressing.

Food for the day:
Breakfast: cereal with rice milk
Lunch: More Thanksgiving- turkey, yams, stuffing
Mid-afternoon snack: more cereal and rice milk
Snack #2: applesauce, a banana
Dinner: Birthday dinner- Tilapia, shrimp, scallops, green beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries
Dessert: Birthday cookie and ice cream

Ok, dessert was a splurge. But hey... it's my birthday. I think I'm allowed.

I am a sloth.

          I actually didn't know it was possible for one human being to be so utterly worthless as I was yesterday. I literally read for about eight straight hours and then went to work. I was a little bit disgusted with myself, but it did mean I finished The Lost Symbol in two days flat.

          My first day of work as a shot girl was so disappointing. I showed up, stood around for an hour waiting for people to arrive, then was cut because there were going to be no people to sell shots to. I didn't even take a tray out because there was nobody to sell to. Plus side: I met a charming marine with fantastic muscles. All's well that ends well.

          Yesterday's food:
Breakfast: smart start cereal
Lunch: Pizza, an orange
Dinner: beans and rice, a smoothie, an egg with an english muffin
This food list screams "Kayla's rapidly running out of food". That was my last egg, the last of the pizza, the last english muffin, the last soymilk, and the last of the yogurt. I actually don't know how I will feed myself for the next two days.

          Today's food:
Breakfast: applesauce. I told you the situation was desperate. I am hungover, starving, and am desperately craving breakfast food. Guess I'll suck it up and eat the beans and rice and realize that in most of the world my food stock is enormous and will last me for weeks. I am a spoiled American. Dammit.
Breakfast #2: beans and rice
Lunch: the rest of the beef stew, a bowl of cereal
Dinner: Watkins thanksgiving! Turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, green bean casserole, a roll, pie, ice cream. I suppose that makes up for the rest of the day.
Dinner #2 (embarrassing): Another roll, a stuffed half of a butternut squash. Weird, but actually delicious, especially at 9:30 at night.

Birthday Cupcakes!

Fun fact of the day: I milk my birthday like nobody's business. The four or five days preceding my birthday is generally referred to as "my birthday". So, even though it's only Friday and my real birthday's on Monday, we celebrated. And by we, I mean my roommates and pseudo roommates, Ramona and Kerra. We went shopping, and I bought adorable birthday heels. Then shopping, then ordering pizza, and then... surprise birthday cupcakes! Hailey and Leslie came in with a tray of cupcakes shaped in a K, plus a little plate of cupcakes with walnuts on top. They were homemade and absolutely delicious. That was the sweetest thing that has happened to me in a long, long time. :) We're about to play a precious game of boggle and awaiting our awesome cheeseburger bacon pizza. Viva birthday weeks!

Food
Breakfast: smart start cereal
Lunch: vegetable curry over couscous, grapes
Dinner: Pineapple Chicken- frozen dinner
Dinner #2: Pizza, cupcakes.
          Note: It's my birthday. I'm allowed.

Leisure time?!

Today I read a book. It wasn't for school, it wasn't mandated, and I didn't have to read it. It was awesome. I've been dying to read this book since I finished The DiVinci Code, and now I've finally had the chance to start it! Of course, the whole series is rather formulaic, so I can easily lay out the format of the rest of the novel, but still... it's a good formula. It works. And it's entertaining. So I'm not complaining.

Food log time!
Breakfast: Smart start cereal
Midday snack: Caesar salad, cornbread muffin (thank you, late plate.)
Lunch: Half a bowl of beef stew, half a cornbread muffin (again... thanks, free food on my shelf).
Afternoon food: spicy caribbean chicken
Dinner: Singapore noodles from Zen Zero with Jon and a JuiceStop smoothie!

Not bad. Not good, but not bad. I was totally going to run today. Didn't happen. I blame phone duty. But enough about my body- rumor has it the Chateau staff likes my ass, so we're golden.

Ok, enough of this.

Crazy New Idea

I have decided that I am slowly becoming a lard. And that's disgusting. So, I'm going to change this. How, you ask? By: a) jogging. b) eating less. c) eating better. and d) writing down what I eat. This is where this blog comes in. As uninteresting as my dining habits might be to anyone that happens to stumble upon this blog, it'll help me eat less awful, because I'll have to admit to the entire internet that I ate three pieces of pizza for dinner tonight. Which is actually true.
This new idea is starting... NOW.
Breakfast: smart start + kashi cereal (soymilk)
Lunch: tofu stir fry
Lunch #2: the rest of the tofu stir fry (which is where things get embarrassing.)
Dinner: Three pieces of pizza and a shit ton of fruit.

Things only get ugly around dinnertime. And I never eat pizza unless it's free and handed to me, both of which happened tonight. Damnit, honors events, you're making me huge.

That's all. Time for a Morale meeting and then a loooooong night of studying.

The Beginning of the End. ...Kind of.

          The first day of the last full week until Thanksgiving. I could not be more relieved- I need a break. But I won't dwell on this. No use pining for a week from now when I could be enjoying today. I feel as if I've spent my whole life unsatisfied with what day it is, always desperately waiting for some day in the future when my life will suddenly be loads better than it already is. That's silly. If I do that for the rest of my life, I will have lived for the future rather than the present. What kind of life is that? Why would I want to accelerate my journey towards death? 


          This past weekend, mom and Emily came up for a little shopping spree. $500 later, the little shopping spree had evolved into a gigantic shopping spree, mom's credit card was exhausted, and I was the happy owner of several adorable little outfits, for shot girl-ing and otherwise. We had a lot of fun together. That night I trained as a shot girl, and made a whopping $2 in tips. This job is going to be fantastic. Saturday was a blast, even though business was incredibly slow for the first few hours. The staff is wonderful, and so fun to talk to. And apparently my first ever shot girl outfit was a success. Directly quoted: "Security was unanimous that your legs looked damn good." That is a grade A compliment, hands down. Do you realize what this means? This means that even though I have scattered acne, plantar's warts, a belly, large thighs, and saggy baggy arms, apparently to some I am still good looking. It means that those things don't really matter in the scheme of things because nobody's looking at them. Why do I worry about all of that? Why on earth am I so unsatisfied? That's a little ridiculous. I've got to keep working on this. 


          The holidays are officially here. The heat is being turned on in Watkins and I finished my first Christmas present- dad's blanket. Granted, that blanket's original projected finish date was July. But regardless, it's done now, which is such a relief. I wonder how offended the rest of my family would be if they ended up with socks. Scarves it is, then. 


          Cheers to a new week. I think it's time to celebrate by doing homework. Hasta luego, ghost readers. Your non-existance makes this blog so much more intimate and comfortable. I love it. 


          


          

Number Three.

There is literally nothing I can name this blog that is not trite, overdone, or cliché. Nothing. It's raining outside, which is always good for an excellent nap. But the rain is making it impossible to name this blog without sounding ridiculous. "Singing in the Rain"? Dumb. "Rainy Days"? Awful. "Splashing in Puddles and Dreaming of Sunshine"? I disgust myself. So I stuck with "Number Three". Horrendously uncreative, but thankfully not as gag-inducing. Therefore, it's perfect.

I just realized we have the exact same bizarre glass side table with a sheaf of bronze wheat as the base in my parents' home. This house was built and furnished in the 1920's. What are the chances?

New experience of the day: Yerba Mate, a popular traditional drink in "el cono sur" del Sudamérica. It was disgusting, but apparently if I ever find myself living in one of those four countries I'll have to learn to like it, like beer. It's a cult thing. They sit in a circle and pass the cup, just like hookah. Or weed. But less terrible for your lungs and motivation.

New drink: Long Island Iced Tea. Jon bought us what we needed and I played bartender for the night. The best part? It was incredibly cheap. $20 bought the mix, the sweet and sour, and the coke. And Lord knows I love cheap things.

Tonight, on a whim, I informed everybody that I'm cooking them chinese food. So I'm making the chicken and Leslie's making the fried rice. I have been craving asian food, specifically chicken and fried rice, all week. I am so incredibly excited for this. Then, post-clean up: my first ever KU basketball game. This is a momentous occasion. It makes it so much better that we'll probably win. Games are always more fun when you're on the winning team.

I suppose this is enough stream of consciousness for one post. Maybe I should work on some sort of unifying factor that brings a little sense and organization to these posts.

Or not.

Floating in Contentment

          I am sometimes surprised by how lucky I got. I have such a beautiful life. Maybe I have excellent karma left over from a past life. Or maybe it was just the luck of the draw, and I picked the long straw. Whatever it is, whatever has made this life possible, I am eternally grateful. What is there to complain of, really? I am sitting on a futon in my room, having just finished a delicious lunch of some mexican concoction I stumbled upon last week, bathed in Pandora music and eating some heavenly brownie Leslie gave me. The weather is beautiful, I have no huge pending assignments hanging over my head like a cloud, and this is my easy day of classes. This is perfection. Technically, perfection does not exist, but because I am perfectly happy with my life, can it exist in that sense? I think so. I hope so. 

          I crave to read. I absolutely adore reading for pleasure, but during school there is simply no time to devote to such a self-gratifying activity. During school, there is always a textbook that needs reading; no time for Dan Brown and his taunting third novel that is staring at me from Andrea's box-turned-bookshelf. This is what I look forward to the most, come two weeks from now: Thanksgiving break, and the opportunity it holds for the things that I love to do. I will have five days, five beautifully empty days in which I can finally read The Lost Symbol, finish my dad's christmas blanket, and spend hours in the kitchen cooking. I can finish my cruise scrapbook, buy the supplies for my next, college-themed scrapbook, and take naps with Sonny and Boo. I can go shopping and see Shannon and go jogging and see people I haven't seen since high school and give my liver a break. And, most importantly, I can spend time with my family. I am determined not to have the sort of relationship with my family that my dad has with his. I want my children to adore my parents; I want them to have a wonderful relationship. I can't let myself forget about the importance of my family, no matter how much Lawrence has become home to me. I suppose there's nothing wrong with two families- my Lenexa family and my Lawrence family. When did this paragraph take such a cheesy turn? Dammit. Time to switch direction a bit. 

          So, it turns out I have men coming out of my ears. Hailey and I made a list of the men that have been in my life since the start of school, and a separate list of those that are still in it. This baffles me- there are ten people on the list, and five on the separate list. When did this happen? Don't misunderstand me, I am not complaining. It's just a bit of a shock to see those names on paper. But this is how I wanted my freshman year to be- casually dating, absolutely no boyfriends. Sometimes, though, I become reminiscent of high school and the beautiful relationships I developed with a few different guys, one at a time, and how wonderful it was to fancy myself in love. I miss that feeling. But at the same time, I know I need to hold off, hold back, and actually wait this time around for the absolutely right person for me to come along. These past few months have proved that there will never be a shortage of men, a few of which really wanted a deep relationship. I don't have anything to worry about. I just need to ignore the part of me that just wants to settle for one person, because ultimately I wouldn't be happy. I would be reliving high school, and Lord knows how desperately I want to leave high school in my past and create a completely different future. So, characteristic of my current mood, I am content with my current situation of men. Flirting is one of my favorite things to do, and I do plenty of it, so I am happy. Settling down with one person can wait. For now I am going to live it up as the freshman in college I am and, for once in my life, not yearn to be older. I am happy just where I am. 

          

Why on earth does this exist?

          I now have a blog and am a little bit baffled by this bizarre turn of events. I guess that's what happens when I have free time. I do things like this. 

         What a crazy concept. Free time?! I nearly forgot this exists. It was beginning to fall into the same category as unicorns and love at first sight. Free time was for people like Ramona who have enough time on their hands to create slide shows of beautiful men. What a life. But now, by some crazy twist of fate, I have the chance to sit and type away at a blog that has existed for approximately three minutes. I love it. I suppose this is what normal people feel like all the time. This is new- a glimpse into normalcy! I had better embrace this with all of my might. This is going in the history books, everyone- I am passing an evening just like any other person would. I am doing nothing productive for an entire thirty minutes without feeling guilty. I can hear the heavenly chorus singing now. 

          Just kidding. It's not quite that awesome. But it is fantastic, and I'm going to soak it up and enjoy it if it kills me. But it probably won't, because this is free time we're talking about. Not tanning or gonorrhea. That was weird. Ignore that.

          I suppose there is a whole host of things I could be doing. I could be saving the world, for instance. The world constantly needs saving, and here I am typing about nothing on a blog no one will ever read. What's that line from Ingrid Michaelson? "Something something something, instead I sleep." The first part is something about saving the world. That was totally ineffective at illustrating my point. I'll look it up later. 

         Only, what, five more weeks of this semester left and it's over? If the rest of my life goes this fast, I'll be dead before I even know what happened. That's crazy. Maybe there's some fluke in the system and a time warp has occurred and time is ACTUALLY SPEEDING UP. Or maybe I got old out of nowhere. That's more plausible, but a lot less fun to consider. We'll go with the former and completely disregard the latter. Perfect. 

          It occurred to me that this is the sort of thing that runs through my head. What do other people think about? I have no idea, but I feel like it's definitely not this. Maybe I am abnormal. Dammit. This is such a girl blog. With girls (or maybe just with me and I'm subconsciously projecting my own characteristics onto the entire female population) our brains are a crazy intricate web of thoughts, all bouncing off one another and getting confused. This little web of thoughts is soaked in emotion and hormones and urges to devour an entire cake and thoughts of "why the FUCK didn't he call me back?" and other frivolous garbage. But with boys, their mind is a series of boxes. They take out a box, open it up, and think about the contents. Then they put the box back and choose another. The crazy thing is, there is actually a box in every boy brain that has nothing in it. This baffles me. The first time I think about nothing is the first time I'm dead. I have talked about death twice now. This is getting morbid. And this is why I shouldn't have a blog. 

Time to design. Thank god I have a designer sitting approximately three inches to my right. Otherwise, I'd be sunk. Here we go! iViva Blogging!