I now have a blog and am a little bit baffled by this bizarre turn of events. I guess that's what happens when I have free time. I do things like this.
What a crazy concept. Free time?! I nearly forgot this exists. It was beginning to fall into the same category as unicorns and love at first sight. Free time was for people like Ramona who have enough time on their hands to create slide shows of beautiful men. What a life. But now, by some crazy twist of fate, I have the chance to sit and type away at a blog that has existed for approximately three minutes. I love it. I suppose this is what normal people feel like all the time. This is new- a glimpse into normalcy! I had better embrace this with all of my might. This is going in the history books, everyone- I am passing an evening just like any other person would. I am doing nothing productive for an entire thirty minutes without feeling guilty. I can hear the heavenly chorus singing now.
Just kidding. It's not quite that awesome. But it is fantastic, and I'm going to soak it up and enjoy it if it kills me. But it probably won't, because this is free time we're talking about. Not tanning or gonorrhea. That was weird. Ignore that.
I suppose there is a whole host of things I could be doing. I could be saving the world, for instance. The world constantly needs saving, and here I am typing about nothing on a blog no one will ever read. What's that line from Ingrid Michaelson? "Something something something, instead I sleep." The first part is something about saving the world. That was totally ineffective at illustrating my point. I'll look it up later.
Only, what, five more weeks of this semester left and it's over? If the rest of my life goes this fast, I'll be dead before I even know what happened. That's crazy. Maybe there's some fluke in the system and a time warp has occurred and time is ACTUALLY SPEEDING UP. Or maybe I got old out of nowhere. That's more plausible, but a lot less fun to consider. We'll go with the former and completely disregard the latter. Perfect.
It occurred to me that this is the sort of thing that runs through my head. What do other people think about? I have no idea, but I feel like it's definitely not this. Maybe I am abnormal. Dammit. This is such a girl blog. With girls (or maybe just with me and I'm subconsciously projecting my own characteristics onto the entire female population) our brains are a crazy intricate web of thoughts, all bouncing off one another and getting confused. This little web of thoughts is soaked in emotion and hormones and urges to devour an entire cake and thoughts of "why the FUCK didn't he call me back?" and other frivolous garbage. But with boys, their mind is a series of boxes. They take out a box, open it up, and think about the contents. Then they put the box back and choose another. The crazy thing is, there is actually a box in every boy brain that has nothing in it. This baffles me. The first time I think about nothing is the first time I'm dead. I have talked about death twice now. This is getting morbid. And this is why I shouldn't have a blog.
Time to design. Thank god I have a designer sitting approximately three inches to my right. Otherwise, I'd be sunk. Here we go! iViva Blogging!
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